I am officially 2 weeks from my departure date. I will be leaving Atlanta en route for Chicago first, and then making my arrival date in Dublin by Tuesday. In an effort to be calm and (humble), I have really kept this move out of sight/mind in a way and learned to keep my emotions contained in a way. I want to enjoy where I am and be in the moment, but of course my mind looks ahead too. This is also a huge move for so many reasons, so my real emotions I've shared only with family and close friends. Now that it is so close there is so much one does to get "here"; and then because I can't say for sure I know everything to doI'-m wingin' it and also stayin' on point as best I can and then some. By being more reserved and also open, it settles more and more this is happening. I can honestly say it feels right. And I can honestly say I don't know for sure, because no ever does (until they do). But I'm going anyway. Why? Because more than I don't know if I should or what's going to happen, I without hesitation or a shadow of a doubt want to find out.
At 13, I wanted to move to a far off land and be 'in love'. Already at a young age I was wired for larger than life love and romance. Something naturally grew in my heart for traveling and being apart of other cultures.
Throughout high school I never really sweated the future, because I was so happy and feeling so blessed by the experiences I was having right there, it felt like it would last forever. And when what every senior one day faces, graduation and next steps, I saw as the beginning of everything else. I wanted to travel, meet more people, always share life with the people that knew me first, but be open to grow and do more.
As I started to grow up, I wanted to go to college and study cultures, languages, history, and more.... It was so hard to choose! I tossed and turned over and changed several majors. But one thing stayed constant and it was my natural desire to study languages (French and ASL were my main focus as a student), travel, pour into relationships, grow and mature in my faith, do acts of service, be successful in my work by measures beyond my own expectations, live a life that means something not just to myself but to others.....and as I matured as a student, things did not come easily, but I believed in the blessing of 'now' and the hope for what I was being shaped and prepared for. Many times I day dreamed about studying abroad, but knew each summer I would responsibly work and joyfully get to teach swim lessons. That job one day made it possible to save those earnings for a trip I would take after graduating from college.
When my time came to travel abroad for the first time, it's indescribable the excitement I felt in my heart. I appreciated every last drop of that experience. And then, I ultimately became all the more inspired to live abroad more. I don't think of this journey as a permanent stop. After two years of going back forth, I am ready to go. I realized after being in Atlanta for 2 years wondering if I really would try to go for a more full-time stay, the time had come to 'GO' or 'let it go'. I didn't want to live with my heart divided- longing to be somewhere and moving toward the unknown OR staying where I am blessed beyond measure but not feeling 'at home'. It's tough to be home and feel comforted by being in your childhood home, but not feeling at home. It's that restlessness that intensified my pursuit.
I hope I never loose my sense of wonder.
I hope I never stay knocked down by hard hits.
I hope I follow the life lessons that I have earned this far and move foward.
I hope I always listen to the voice in my head and heart and listen carefully.
I hope I continue to take leaps of faith.
I hope I always work hard and strive to be smarter.
I hope I forever dream big and believe even bigger.
I hope I can remember to be strong when I feel weak.
I hope I always mean it when I say I love you.
I hope I forever remember and the honor it is to make the effort and mile for relationships.
I hope I always remain humble and also comfortable in my 'joy' for the excitement that surrounds me.
I hope this list continues to grow....
Here we go.... 14 days left in Atlanta for now.....
