A Confident Humility

Welcome, Sunday. Good morning from Dublin, Ireland. I am sitting on my bed with the window open. Since college, it has been a small joy to have my bed beside the window. I love to sit, rest, and reflect with the backdrop of the world going on outside.

A fresh cup of Earl Grey tea is warm in my left hand. The window is open because it is sunny and cool outside. It feels like Fall. The breeze is cool on my cheeks and shoulders. The day looks brand new, radiant. I want to take a step toward radiance myself by starting with going into the Word.

Today I am in Ephesians and listening to an online message.

Ephesians 2:8-10

New International Version (NIV)

⁸ For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹ not by works, so that no one can boast. ¹⁰ For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

This morning I am listening to a message from Jeff Henderson from a few weeks ago in Atlanta, GA. He was a guest pastor at Passion City Church.

If you're interested in listening as well, here you go.

 This is a message about being honest with who you are, where you are, and where you are going.

It is also about humility.

How do I find my sweet spot for walking with Jesus in my daily life right now?

How do I move beyond my failures, limitations, and insecurities?

There is a truth that is written on my heart: I am my beloved's. Despite my failures, limitations, and insecurities; I am loved, redeemed, and worthy.

When I own my weaknesses, that is when God can truly be my strength.

The message today stirred up some big thoughts and emotions in me:

1. "What does God think about when he thinks about me?"

2. "Don't let the reality right now of who you are, stop you from the reality of who you are becoming and are capable of becoming."

3. "We can never get too comfortable with Jesus that we take Him for granted."

4. "Jesus wants us to be confident and humble in the work he believes we are meant to do."

5. "There is an enemy that wants to destroy our good work. He is always headed our way when we are growing in the goodness of Christ."

Approach life with a confident humilty? Okay, but when I leave this bedroom and set out to change myself and make an impact on the world positively, then what? I know I need to be strong in the will of the Lord, but sometimes I am overwhelmed by what is happening all around me. Jesus, will you wrap your arms around me when I feel this way? I invite you into my heart and you are welcome to dwell in any space I keep.

I recognize there will be obstacles to overcome. Jesus believes in me. I am my beloved's. The enemy seeks to kill and destroy, so I must remember and draw close to the truth that when we respond to the voice of the accuser with the voice of God (lean in to scripture), the enemy is crushed. One of my 'go to' verses is, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world (John 16:33).”

Jeff Henderson reminds us that, 'We are God's handy work (His work of art) to do HIS good work. He prepared us in advance to do it. By not stepping up and thinking of yourself as 'junk', you're missing out. God has a great plan for your life.You rob God of His glory when you move forward with pride and arrogance. But you also take a step back when you do not move forward with confidence. Believe God has a good plan for you (for us).'

Here I am in new territory. I, not even a month ago, took one of the biggest steps of faith I ever have and moved myself across the world. I resigned from my job, organized all of my finances, packed away much of my own personal belongings, and celebrated with family and friends the move I made to Ireland.

For those of you who know me well, this is a move I have wanted for so long. I am amazed daily I am really here. Wow, how undeserving yet favored I am. This move, for lack of better understanding, is part of my destiny. It has been written on my heart since I was a young girl. No matter the joy and blessings around me, something even deeper and bigger grew in my heart that kept calling me here.

Calling me where? Here? Everything before me has prepared me for now. Everything now is part of where I am going. When I realized I was REALLY coming here, I was excited and scared. Excited for what experiences, lessons, and blessings will happen. Scared for being alone at first. Don't get me wrong, I am a humble and confident, independent woman. For years God has shaped me for independence. But He has been so rich in giving me relationships, so even though I am good on my own, I am better with my community.

This is a chapter when I have stepped farther away (but forever keeping in touch with) from my community, for the hope of becoming so much more than I already am. I want to know more: more about who I am, what I can do, and what I am made to do. Even when I have been scared, it hasn't really been what I consider fear, because I feel ready. What I am feeling is probably more loneliness, because I haven't yet made relationships here. I do not question my decision to move here, I celebrate it and thank God for the opportunity to be here daily. I do not question my ability to be here on my own, because I welcome it. I want to be here.

When I feel lonely, I am reminded that God wants more of me. Somehow in the middle of being so grateful for everyone close by to me, I took for granted the relationship I aspire to have with Christ. I was working hard as a teacher, daughter, sister, companion, friend, and neighbor; but still feeling empty in some places. Those places are now feeling fuller.

The work I have done has prepared me for now. In the present, I am working out and being more responsible in the dedication and emphasis I put on exercise, food, and rest. My stress has decreased and I am at the start of an epic journey. I am learning new languages, challenging myself to learn more across all academics (especially in subjects like math where I am weaker and in history where I thrive), taking and making time to practice for "DIY" cooking projects and more, and opening my heart to all opportunities here.


God has created us. How to discover our plan more deeply and move forward in the plan, means we have to lean in to God, and be confident in the skills he has given us. Even when that means being wrecked and rebuilt. My goal at large now is to remain humble in how God has made me, but be confident in that as well.

Lately I have been on an  "eat, pray, love" adventure. If so ever you are able to go yourself, I encourage you to let go and go. It will not be easy and you will still have obstacles, but if you're willing to work hard, you will love yourself for trying.

Cheers,
M